Save time and stay safe by looking for these 10 early warning signs that the new guy you're dating may be dangerous.

FEB 25 2019

10 early warning signs you are dating someone dangerous

“How he speaks to the restaurant staff can speak volumes about his true character. ”

10 Signs You Might Be Dating A Dangerous Man

In my experience dating, one of the hardest things about dating is knowing exactly when to stay and when to walk away. Those little red flags, that weren’t deal breakers individually; but filled in the complete picture when looked at collectively. And the picture was not good!

So, this begs the question: Is there a way to tell if a guy is dangerous before you get too involved? No fear ladies. We’ve spoken to some experts in the field and have some great ways to sift through it all and how to tell if the guy you are dating is dangerous. Many of these can be observed on the first date (and even better so, since that is when we’re usually on our best behavior).

⭐1. How does he treat others?

And by this, I mean- how does he speak to the valet? The service staff? What about when someone irritates him in traffic? Does he tell off color jokes or use degrading words when telling a story?

Of course, he will be on his best behavior early on- but you can pick up a lot of little signs by the way he interacts with the other people around on your date.
watch how he treats others for clues

⭐2. Does he speak about himself in third person? 

If so, run! This is the #1 sign of a disassociated narcissist.

What is third person? For example, our date’s name is Mark. And this is how Mark talks when telling a story about himself: “So I was running down the road being chased by this dog, and Mark was freaking out a bit, but then I got control of my emotions and calmly walked away. Mark was proud of himself”.

People who seamlessly move in and out of speaking about themselves in first person and third person, have developed a psychological mechanism that permits them to detach emotionally from a memory or action. Most people who have developed that ability, have done so, as a coping mechanism for much deeper issues.
third person speak sign of egomaniac

⭐3. How does he frame his past relationships?

Does he have a scapegoat for each failed one? A reason that is not partly his own? If so, then there’s surely more below the surface that is not being revealed. As the saying goes: If the common denominator in every problem is you, then you might be the problem.

⭐4. Does he deflect?

Does he get uncomfortable or even defensive, when you ask him to elaborate on his personal history? Deflection is a sure sign that there is more to be revealed. Scratch that diamond a bit harder to make sure it’s not CZ. And do it now, before you’re any more emotionally invested.

“Watch his body language when you ask him personal questions. Does he fidget and deflect?.”

⭐5. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?

Is he a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? By this I mean, is he super charming, charismatic and personable in public; but demeaning, moody, controlling and even aggressive behind closed doors?

This is the guy that blew you away when you met and that you still can’t wrap your head around how he is acting now. The one that totally blind sided you. This is an unstable narcissistic controlling emotional vampire. Do not pass Go and collect another $100- you should exit this dating relationship immediately.

This type of individual tests the boundaries with you and if you show that you are willing to accept (or forgive) this behavior once, they will continue to escalate the behavior to test the boundaries.

personality changes when drinking

⭐6. Does he make grand gestures?

Does he give unexpected gifts or grand surprises? Now, this in and of itself, is not a deal breaker. Every girl loves a guy who buys her presents.

However, if you are seeing similarities in some of the other signals, then you may want to consider this: the gift giving is often done with strings attached. These strings come in the form of creating the feelings of indebtedness.

For example, I dated a man once who bought me an expensive Christmas gift and we had only been dating 2 weeks (if that). Yes! You better believe that I felt obliged and went out with him for 3 months longer than I should have because this pattern kept repeating and I kept overlooking the red flags because, after all, he had such a thoughtful heart. Yak!

Of course, this all done on such a sub-conscious level that it’s pure manipulation. But that is exactly why you need to be alert for how it’s manifesting externally (i.e. The Gift Giver).

extravagent gifts to manipulate your feelings

⭐7. How much does he drink?

Does he drink too much on the first date? As mentioned earlier, the reality is that most people will be on their best behavior on a first date.

Yes, nerves will be lit and a cocktail or two can help with that. But we’re talking about someone who gets drunk. If so, this is a strong indication that this person has an alcohol problem.

⭐8. Does his personality change when he drinks?

    And furthermore, does he even acknowledge it? If his personality gets ugly to you or others when he’s had a few drinks….girl….what are you waiting around for? You are playing Russian Roulette with your personal safety. Next.

    ⭐9. Is he an emotional vampire?

    Emotional vampires are called such because they like to push other people’s buttons and then feed off that reaction, whether it’s a good one or a bad one. Gas lighting is their big game.

    People with this psychological characteristic are often likened to the puppet masters, manipulating all those around them, and pulling the strings. Look early. It may not be you initially but you will be able to see the characteristics in their other relationships.

    gas lighting is a tactic of emotional vampires

    ⭐10. Is he able to tell a lie that even he believes in himself?

    This is #10 because this is the outward expression of the inner core of a dangerous man. If you hear him tell a story. And you were there. You experienced it yourself. And yet, the story he tells is embellished or way pumped up or down. And he’s selling it! That’s your pathological liar.

    Whether you are in a current relationship with someone who makes you question whether some of these apply, or if you are just dating and want to know the warning signs- your personal safety should always be the #1 Priority. You are a beautiful and worthy child of God, made in his image and you deserve to be treated that way!

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